If you hadn’t noticed, the father’s of the world are gone. Whether it be having children out of wedlock or two lesbian women having a child, one thing that is happening at an alarming rate is that fathers are disappearing from the landscape. Given the statistics for fatherless homes, our society is going to be in serious trouble.  Here are a few alarming numbers from credible studies relating to this issue:

Sixty-three (63%) of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Bureau of the Census). Eighty-five (85%) of all children exhibiting behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control). Seventy-one (71%) percent of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association). Seventy (70%) of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice). Eighty-five (85%) percent of those in prisons grew up in fatherless homes (Texas Dept. of Justice).

Of 700 participants in a study on early sexual activity, those coming from homes without a father were more likely to engage in risky behavior in adolescence than those coming from traditional families (Journal of Behavioral Medicine).  A study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that fatherless children were at a dramatically greater risk of abusing drugs and alcohol, having mental illness, committing suicide, performing poorly in school, being involved with teen pregnancy and being involved in crimes (1993). Another study found that boys growing up in fatherless homes have a higher incident of establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity. (P.L. Adams, J.R. Miner, and N.A. Schrepf, “Fatherless Children” 1984).  Ninety (90%) percent of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (Bureau of the Census).  Seventy-five (75%) percent of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Rainbows for all God’s Children Study).

In a study conducted in Australia, those children having fathers in the home five years immediately prior to schooling were more likely to have higher levels of cooperation and social skills and lower levels of hyperactivity or problem behavior (Early Childhood Matters Conference 2002).  A study from the Center for Research on Child Wellbeing notes that children who were institutionalized for criminal activity had a much better outcome in terms of correcting their future behavior if they had a father in the home.  In a study from Texas on persons incarcerated only twenty (20%) percent of those in prison were from two parent homes and only one (1%) percent were from single father homes. Another study indicated that having a father in the home almost erased the issue of severe poverty for families. Another study from the Journal of Marriage and the Family found that the father who spends time with his children is essential in teaching values to children (Seltzer Feb. 1991).

There are a lot of statistics that indicate the importance of fathers being in the home and taking an active part in raising children. Most have personally observed, however, that fathers in the home bring a necessary balance – even if it is only a physical presence and example.

There are many who would attack the natural role of fathers to provide sustenance and protection for families. Is it possible that even the mere presence of a father in the home provides children with a sense of safety under which they can sleep well at night? We are quick to celebrate the role of mothers in the home, and rightly so as no home would be adequate without moms. We don’t, however, do justice to our fathers and their role.

It is a blatant misrepresentation to say that the role of fathers is less important than that of mothers or that the exposure to fathers is not as essential to the proper upbringing of children. Many would argue that because fathers have many responsibilities outside of the home that may limit their exposure to children, that there presence is never really felt. The statistics, however, are unanimous in finding that there is no support in indicating that this substantially impacts the father’s influence on children in the home.

Indeed, in ancient Egypt, fathers would work ten day weeks and then return home for two days rest. The role of fathers in that society was celebrated in letters to and from fathers and their children and Egypt had a strong emphasis on the traditional family structure, even with fathers who worked so long and hard outside of the home.

Instead of degrading the role of the fathers in courts and in social commentary, there should be an emphasis on the importance of fatherhood. We hear so much of the wrongs that fathers do in terms of working too late or playing too hard, but in the end it is obvious that their role and their presence in the home is vital, despite the imperfections.

Children love their fathers, even when fathers are not perfect and even when they are not home “all the time.” How many children run into the arms of their fathers the instant they walk through the door or smile like a lightbulb when their fathers come out to activities.

The role of the father is clearly different.  We cannot and should not ask fathers to become more like mothers as that is not their natural inclination.  In today’s society we seem to attribute more feminine qualities to the “good” fathers where they have compassion, fix boo-boos and the like. Certainly there is room for such behavior, but it is not necessarily what children need.

Traditional fathers who discipline children, spend long hours at work, serve diligently in their churches, pledge allegiance to the flag and cry over the utility bill seem to do just fine in the final mix of things. Fathers who love their children, but only show it in the occasional discussion about politics or sports seem to have a knack for communicating that affection without perpetual hugs and kisses and it still seems to work for kids!  How many adult children remember dear old dad’s peculiar way of showing love in his own way and cherish their father’s very nature, despite lacking the effeminate qualities often associated with affection.

The reality is that fatherhood and the behavior of fathers has been passed down from generation to generation and for the most part, the actions within families still seems to have a dramatic impact on the rearing of children – and that is despite dramatic imperfections. Few if any studies show that fathers stepping out of traditional patterns of behavior improve the results of rearing good children. Observations would indicate that fathers who communicate and empathize with their children do have better relationships, but it doesn’t automatically result in better outcomes.

So here we salute the imperfect, grumpy, workaholic, often smelly, pre-occupied with sports and hunting, too much Church-serving, quick to anger, and always funny in all their seriousness American Fathers. God made them just the way they are – with a lot of room for improvement and no room for excuses. Without them, our children would be in serious trouble.

So this Father’s Day, consider giving dear-ole dad an uncomfortable hug. It is one time during the year when it is considered socially acceptable. Who knows, you might even bring a tear to his eye – but please do be considerate and mention that it is probably just allergies.