Published on 04/18/2006

Self-image Is what you see when you take a close look at yourself. Self Respect is how well you accept what you see when you look at yourself. Self-esteem is how good you feel about what you see when you look at yourself. Self-esteem is how good you feel about what you see when you look at yourself.

Marriage (Cont'd)

    Self-esteem has been a favorite concept in education for a number of years, to the point that many are tired of hearing about it. It has been my experience that most teachers are perhaps a little confused by the term. A teacher once told me of a bully in her classroom, whom she said had great self-esteem. Needless to say I didn’t consider that to be a good example of genuine self-esteem. I studied the problem and came up with five classifications to better explain the phenomenon.
Class E self-esteem is counterfeit self -esteem. Those caught in this pattern attempt to bolster their ego by such negative acts as bragging, putting others down, being pushy, having a pretense of superiority, and presenting a false front to the world. The self-esteem of the bully mentioned above falls into this category. Negative action will never generate self-esteem; instead it always generates feelings of inferiority. Any attempt to cover up one’s feelings of inferiority will make matters worse. Only a strictly positive act can generate genuine self-esteem.
   Class D Self-esteem results from the practice of academic skills (which is a positive activity.) However, it generates self-esteem at a rather low rate. I would never recommend basing one’s self-esteem on the practice of the times tables.
   Class C Self-esteem results when the person reacts to positive input such as the kindness of others or when faced with fortunate circumstances. Positive reaction can be a strong generator of self-esteem, but it depends on an outside source over which the person may have little or no control.
   Class A Self-esteem results from the practice of the eternal laws upon which the Savior’s commandments are based. Of course this must be done with a good attitude -- a person must do the right thing for the right reason to experience true self-esteem. The diligent practice of the eternal laws is the most powerful generator of the joy factor known to mankind. Of all the eternal laws, judging righteous judgment (Mathew 7:2) appears to be the most powerful generator of self-esteem.
   It is a well-kept secret that we humans can learn to regulate the amount of joy and happiness we experience. Happiness, joy and peace of mind always result from righteous acts. Unrighteous acts lead to unhappiness, discouragement, despondency and even depression. These two cause and effect relationships are 100% predictable. We determine the result (joy or grief) by our choice of action (whether it be righteous or whether it be unrighteous).
   Because some of our actions are righteous- we experience joy some of the time. Because some of our actions are unrighteous-we experience unhappiness some of the time. Most people I know play in both ballparks and are forced to experience the uncomfortable ups and the downs that result. The amount of joy we experience depends on the number of righteous choices we make. The quality of the marriage relationship is directly related by these choices.
   For more information on this article, log onto www.foreverandaday.org.